Navigating Your Emotional Wellbeing During Divorce: Candid Answers
The Real Talk FAQ: Your 3 Most Pressing Divorce + Wellness Questions, Answered
Because sometimes we need to get honest about the hard stuff
I'm here to give you the straight talk you deserve—with a hefty dose of compassion and zero judgment.
1) Does Divorce Actually Affect Your Mental Health?
The short answer? Absolutely. But not in the way you might think.
Here's what the research actually shows (and what I've witnessed through countless conversations): divorce is like going through an emotional detox. It's intense, it's messy, and yes—it temporarily disrupts your wellbeing in ways that are both predictable and completely surprising.
The immediate impact is your wellbeing and mental health takes a temporary hit to make space for something better.
Think of it like a forest fire. Devastating in the moment, but ultimately creating conditions for new growth that couldn't happen any other way. In our chat with Amber Dorsey, owner of From Carpools to Cocktails, talks about divorce being the best thing that has ever happened to her, and the power of multigenerational friendship that helped guide her to living her best life.
2) What Is the Hardest Stage of a Divorce?
The answer that might surprise you: it's not what you think.
Most people assume it's the initial separation or the legal proceedings. But after talking to hundreds of people who've been through this, the hardest stage is actually the liminal space—that weird in-between time when one door has slammed shut, but you're not yet sure where to open the next door. It usually happens around months 6-18 post-separation. You're past the initial shock, the paperwork is mostly done, but you're not yet fully rebuilt. It's like being between trapeze swings—you've let go of what was, but you haven't quite caught what's next.
Why this stage hits so hard:
The adrenaline that got you through the logistics has worn off
Friends and family think you should be "over it" by now
You're facing the reality of rebuilding your entire life
The grief hits in waves when you least expect it
You're making a thousand tiny decisions about who you want to be now
The good news? This is also when the real transformation begins. It's uncomfortable because you're literally becoming a new version of yourself. Honor this stage. It's sacred work.
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3) Who Benefits More in a Divorce?
Oh, this question. It's loaded, and honestly, it's the wrong question entirely.
The research shows some interesting patterns: women often experience a greater initial financial impact, while men tend to struggle more with the emotional and social aspects. But here's what I've learned —framing divorce as a competition misses the entire point.
The real truth? The person who benefits most is the one who:
Takes radical responsibility for their part in the relationship's end
Invests in healing their own patterns and wounds
Sees divorce as an opportunity for growth rather than a failure
Prioritizes their children's wellbeing over their own ego (if kids are involved)
Approaches the process with curiosity instead of defensiveness
Both people can benefit enormously when they use divorce as a catalyst for becoming more whole, authentic versions of themselves. The marriages that end badly often involve two people who've lost themselves—divorce can be the gift that helps them find themselves again.
The Real Talk Takeaway
Look, I'm not going to lie to you and say divorce is some beautiful butterfly transformation. The research is clear: it's hard on your body, it's hard on your mind, and statistically, it increases health risks. That's the truth.
But here's what I know from watching people navigate this: the people who thrive after divorce aren't the ones who pretend it's easy. They're the ones who get radically honest about the cost and then decide to invest heavily in their healing. They work with therapists, they prioritize their physical health, they build new support systems, and they do the deep work of understanding their patterns.
Your marriage ending doesn't make you a failure, but it also doesn't automatically make you free. What makes you free is how intentionally you choose to rebuild.
The work is hard. Do it anyway.