More Couples Are Consulting Divorce Attorneys and Staying Married Anyway

If you are asking whether your marriage can be saved and found your way here, you are probably further along in your head than you have let yourself admit out loud. Legally Uncensored exists because a highly successful divorce and family attorney, Demetria Graves, has sat across from enough people to know that most of them did not come to that decision lightly. 

Our aim is not here to talk you out of anything. We’re here to make sure that whatever you decide, you decide it clearly. Read the checklist. Answer it honestly. Then you will know.

Before we talk about ending a marriage, let's talk about what a marriage actually is.

Marriage, from where I sit professionally, is two things at once. It is a profound desire to be close to someone; to admire them, to want them near, to build something with them that neither of you could build alone. And it is also a contract. One that asks two people to be clear-eyed about what they share, what they want, and how they intend to make two separate lives function as one.

Can my marriage be saved?

A marriage can be saved when both partners are willing to answer hard questions honestly, recommit to building the relationship intentionally, and seek the right help. Divorce attorney Demetria Graves outlines nine questions to help you find out.

In years of reviewing prenuptial agreements, what Demetria has observed the couples who fare best are not necessarily the most romantic ones. They are the most honest ones. They have talked through the hard things that means child rearing, religious practice, finances, division of labor, personal space, intimacy, family. They have looked at every possible outcome, including the worst ones. And rather than that preparation making failure more likely, she has found the opposite to be true. Clarity creates durability. Good communication and diligent planning produce positive outcomes more often than avoidance ever does.

A marriage also requires constant evolution. When life goes on automatic  when partners stop choosing each other intentionally, when boredom or isolation quietly moves in  something has to change. But divorce is only one of the available options.

Click the link for a copy of the workbook.

These questions are not easy. They are not meant to be. They are designed to move you toward clarity, whatever form that clarity takes. Because whether you stay and rebuild or decide to move forward and separate, the goal is the same a life that is honest, intentional, and workable for everyone it touches.

That is all any of this has ever been about. 

Seeking advice about divorce does not mean you will go through with it. A surprising number of couples who consult a divorce attorney work things out and never file. Marriage takes two people willing to look honestly at themselves and each other, revisit their strengths, and decide together what comes next. That clarity, whatever it leads to, is always worth pursuing.

Not sure what your next step is? That is exactly what this divorce podcast and Demetria’s Book ‘It Doesn’t Have to Be Ugly’ is for. Demetria has guided people through both sides of this decision. Listen to the podcast before you make yours.