After Four Marriages, J.Lo Finally Drops the Pick Me Energy: "I'm Not Looking for Anybody”
The “Pick Me” Origin Story
"Pick me, choose me, love me" came from Grey’s Anatomy’s Meredith Grey begging Derek aka McDreamy to choose her over his WIFE. **insert eye roll** What started as iconic moment became a cautionary tale about desperate energy.
It’s a thing usually confined to young 20 somethings, in their first big girl relationship. But then we we shed that as we slip in to those dirty thirties and fiesty forties. But to be honest some of us stayed pick me’s way past the expiration date. Then one day you wake up exhausted from the audition and realize: you were always enough. The freedom? Unmatched.
Jennifer Lopez’s Single Era
As she kicks off her Las Vegas residency, Cosmopolitan reports J.Lo is staying single nearly a year after the Bennifer divorce finalized, and honestly? We love that for her. Her bestie, Leah Rimini, is single as well - her divorce was announced shortly thereafter… and as we know Divorce is Contagious. - we love that for them.
In a article for People, J.Lo talks about wanting to focus on her self. ”Yes, I’m not looking for anybody, because everything that I’ve done over the past 25, 30 years, being in these different challenging situations, what can I f---ing do when it’s just me flying on my own ... what if I'm just free?”
And to that we say “ABOUT TIME LADY!”
Why First Relationships After Divorce Usually Doesn't Last
People expect the next relationship to be the one. Why not, they “know” what didn’t work last time and they are going to hedge against it this time…. Statistically, you’re wrong. 93% of people jump into a new relationship after divorce, and on average it lasts about two months that's normal, not a red flag.
The red flag is if you cannot sit with your own company. It can only lead to you accepting fear dressed as healing.
The Real Lesson Isn't "Stay Single." It's "Know Why."
J.Lo's single era isn't a rebound-proof shield, and it doesn't need to be. The two-month rule doesn't care how famous, rich, or self-aware you are. What matters is whether you're choosing solitude on purpose or performing it for an audience. We break down exactly how to tell the difference, and what actually protects you financially and emotionally in that first relationship after divorce, on the podcast.
In the community we call her (jlo) “The lady with the Rings” and we're here for this redemption arc. No dating apps, no rebounds, just Jenny from the Block finally blocking the drama. You are enough. You are an icon Miss Lopez!
But don’t blame us if we are cautiously celebratory because Jlo was recently on Howard Stern saying it wasn’t that she was unloveable - she obviously is -, but that they [the guys] were not capable.
And where have we heard this before? Oh maybe before the engagement to Macho aka Alex Rodriguez. She professed he was capable of dealing with all that comes with being J to the Lo and yet here we are.
Anyway We are rooting for you Jennifer Lynn Lopez. Learn something from this!
And tabloids please stop trying to make Bennifer 3.0 happen, we’ve accepted the marriage is over, now it’s time for you to do so as well. It's NOT going to happen.